An Attitude of Gratitude

Happy Birthday

2008-09-06T14:59:00.000-06:00

It's my Tajy's 5th birthday today!! He is such a blessing. He brings me so much joy. I love to watch him play. He has THE best imagination. He'll sit and play for hours with his little army guys. It's so cute. Happy Birthday Big Boy!

Tori

Bacon

2008-09-01T14:58:00.000-06:00

I'm doing a low carb diet and I think if I didn't have bacon to eat I would die! Bacon is like candy when you can't eat candy. It's so awesome. My twin would agree. I have lost 3 pounds so far and I'm hoping for more!!

Tori

First Day of School

2008-08-26T08:08:00.001-06:00

I am so thankful that we live in a country where my children are offered a free education. Not just the boys, not just the rich- ALL children!! We are so blessed that our children can go to school and learn every day!! We even have school in prison!! I love this country. I love that my children are learning each day.

Tori

My mom

2008-08-23T18:27:00.001-06:00

I am thankful for my mom. It's her birthday today!! She's awesome and I am blessed to have her for my mom. (I will be writing a post about her on my main blog this week.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Tori

Sonic

2008-08-19T13:39:00.002-06:00

I ♥ Sonic. I love their drinks. I love their chicken wraps. I love happy hour everyday from 2 to 4 pm. I remember when they started building one in Springville, Utah when I was living there. I was so happy I called Sei: "Guess what they are building right down the street from our house!??!?!?!" I am thankful that there is so many Sonic drive-ins in my town- including one less than 2 miles from my house.

Tori

Fun summer

2008-07-29T12:56:00.000-06:00

I am thankful to have a pool in our neighborhood. My parents also have one that we use a lot. We've always bought passes to community pools in the past, but now we are able to go right down the street any time we want. It's so nice. The kids love it too!

Tori

Happy Birthday Sei

2008-07-25T12:57:00.000-06:00

Today is my husband's 34th birthday. I am so blessed to have such an amazing man as my husband, the father of my children and my best friend. He is so patient, loving, honest, funny and just fun in general. Happy Birthday babe. I love you.

Tori

YAY!

2008-07-20T09:20:00.001-06:00

I am so thankful that my kids are home!! 6 weeks is so long to wait during the summer. It never feels like home until all the kiddos are here. We have 7 kids- a real full house- and I love it! It's loud. It's gonna be messy. The laundry is never-ending. And I wouldn't trade it for the world!!

Tori

This weekend!!

2008-07-14T10:41:00.003-06:00

I am thankful that the 1st 6 weeks of summer are almost over!! Kelsea and Karlea come for their summer visit on Wednesday and by 6pm Saturday all the kids will be home!! The 1st 6 weeks go soooo slow with the kid's at my ex's. I miss them so much and our family just doesn't feel "right." I'm ready for "right!"

Tori

Laughter

2008-07-14T08:42:00.002-06:00

I am thankful for almost 7 years of marital bliss with Sei. Last nite we stayed up late watching old home movies. We were both in tears from laughing so hard!! I love that I can laugh with my husband. We have so much fun together even when we aren't really doing anything!! I love him.

Tori

Cops

2008-07-07T09:55:00.000-06:00

As a wife of a police officer it makes me all the more grateful for the service police officers give to our community. It bothers me that people feel like the police are the enemy. Yes, if you are speeding you may be pulled over- but you are breaking the law. People say things to cops like "I pay your salary!" Yes- you do. You pay them to help keep our city safe. If you're speeding or running stop signs you are making the community UNsafe. No one likes to get a ticket and cops don't like giving them. But just remember, the next time you're pulled over and pissed off because you were "only going 7 over the limit!"- that cop you're mad at may be the one that comes to your aid when you call 9-1-1. He or she may save your life.

Tori

July 4

2008-07-04T09:46:00.001-06:00

This post is on my other blog, but I felt it was appropriate to put on my gratitude blog as well.
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America is awesome. We are so so blessed. I see things on tv or read in magazines about other countries and the suffering they endure and I just think "Wow. We truly live in *the* best country on earth." When people complain and threaten to move to France if certain people are elected to president I just want to say, "Good. Go." I don't want people here that don't realize how BLESSED they are to live here. The fact that they can participate in an election, that their vote counts, is HUGE. So, please, Go- run to a country that will come running to us when they need help but won't help when we need it. GO! And you know what- they could go, freely. The country they want to leave allows them the freedom to do so.
We are so blessed to be able to worship (within legal limits) how we please. We are blessed to have grocery stores full of food. Sometimes I find myself complaining when I have to wait in line 10 minutes to pay for my basket full of food. There are countries where people wait in line HOURS to buy a loaf of bread. There are others where they have never seen a a loaf of bread, but would gladly wait in line forever to buy one. People whine about the gas prices but I am just thankful to have a car I can drive in whenever I want to. Yes- the gas prices suck. So... walk. You CAN walk and you can walk WHERE EVER you want to!! Even the opportunity to blog about whatever we want without fear of being persecuted. (Although I've had my fair share of mean anonymous comments.;) We can say whatever we want. We can express opinions about whoever, whatever, whenever and we are FREE to do so!!! We are a spoilt country. We are so spoiled we don't realize how good we have it- myself included.
I am so thankful for the troops of today and the past and thankful for their families. People have died and will continue to die for the freedom we enjoy today. My heart breaks when I read posts by my friends, like Wendy, who just want their husband home, but are so proud of his service to our country. Wendy, I pray for your husband everynite. Thank you. You, your husband, your family, are awesome. I admire y'alls strength. I am weak compared to you.

I love the United States.
I love my freedom.
God bless America.

Tori

Vegas here I come!

2008-06-26T09:26:00.002-06:00

I am thankful I get to go to Vegas for a couple of days with NO KIDS!!!! This is HUGE! I am going to have an almost 3 hour flight and I don't have to keep a baby entertained. I can sleep. I can read. I can get a drink without a lid. WOO HOO!! I can stay up late. I can sleep in late. I can do whatever, whenever!

Tori

Tomorrow!!!

2008-06-19T08:51:00.001-06:00

I get to pick up Tristan, Alec and Isabel tomorrow for my summer weekend visit!! I am so excited! When they are home it just feels... right.

Tori

Fathers Day

2008-06-14T08:49:00.002-06:00

I am thankful for the awesome man I am married to. He is a great father to all the children. He has never looked at Tristan, Alec and Isabel as "mine." He has always seen them as "his" and treats them accordingly. He is a fun dad. He works hard. I love him so much.
I am also thankful for MY dad. He always worked so hard to be a good dad. I love him.

Tori

3 more days

2008-06-04T08:47:00.001-06:00

I am thankful I have 3 more days to spend with my older kids before they go off with the ex for 6 weeks. I dread the summer, but I treasure the time we have together before that. And I look forward to the weekends that are mine. And in 6 weeks I not only will have Tristan, Alec and Isabel back home, Kelsea and Karlea will be here as well!
Tori

I have good kids

2008-05-30T08:46:00.001-06:00

I really am blessed. I know Livie can throw a mean tantrum, but all in all I have awesome kids. We have fun together! They talk to me. They have good friends. They are honest. The older kids play willingly with the younger. I just have great kids.

Tori

Frozen meals

2008-05-25T08:44:00.001-06:00

Frozen meals sounds like a funny thing to be thankful for, but I am. I am trying to lose weight and portion control is a huge thing for me. I buy a ton of the 98 cent Lean Gourmet meals at Walmart and I'm set. They are cheap, easy and actually pretty good. YAY!

Tori

Friends

2008-05-21T14:25:00.001-06:00

I am thankful to be reuniting with old friends. I've found a couple on myspace this week. And in the summer I am traveling to Portland to visit bloggy friends and more. The internet is such a blessing when it comes to finding old and new friends!
Tori

NKOTB

2008-05-16T14:23:00.002-06:00

Go ahead. Call me a loser. But I am thankful and excited about New Kids On The Block reuniting! And they are coming to Dallas and San Antonio! I was happy to see them perform on The Today Show. They did awesome.
I love em!

Birthday and Mother's day

2008-05-11T14:21:00.002-06:00

I am thankful to be healthy and celebrate another birthday!! I'm not thrilled about getting older, but still being alive is always good.
I am thankful to be a mom. I love my kids. They are rad and make me so proud!!

Tori

Healthy Grandpa

2008-05-08T17:41:00.001-06:00

My father-in-law was able to travel from California to attend Sei's graduation. This was such a blessing. In the almost 7 years I've been married to Sei his dad has not been in great health. We've had several scares where we really weren't sure if he was going to make it. This visit it was like a whole new man was visiting! He didn't nap all day. He was able to play with the kids and they were able to see who "Grandpa" really was. I'm so glad he was able to visit. I was able to spend 2 days at home with him and now I am positive that Seiuli's ability to talk the paint off the wall came from his dad... but that's ok. He kept Liv and Taj entertained wonderfully. ;)

Page Rank

2008-05-07T14:20:00.002-06:00

I am thankful that a couple of my other blogs still have page rank. Page rank is important when it comes to getting any good opportunities for blog ads. I hate writing the ads, but the income is such a blessing to our family. I wish g00gle had thought of that before they spanked so many people with a page rank of 0. :(

Tori

Blessings

2008-05-01T09:34:00.000-06:00

Blog ads have been few and far between this week, but I have been blessed. I watch a baby Monday thru Friday. On Tuesday only I watch another baby as well. Well, this week his mom has needed me to watch him 2 extra days. That has been a blessing to have that extra cash- right when we needed it.

Tori

My husband's lips

2008-04-24T12:23:00.002-06:00

I LOVE Sei's lips. They are big and squishy and kissable. People pay money for lips like his. They are awesome and I love kissing them. I am thankful to have a husband with great lips and he knows what to do with them! ;)

Tori

Work boots

2008-04-23T07:20:00.004-06:00

There are a lot of different jobs that require some form of work boots. I know my husband has to wear boots in the line of work he is in. Work boots can sometimes be expensive, but are so worth the protection and support they provide. Workbootsusa.com have all different kinds of work boots at affordable prices. The website is easy to navigate and super user-friendly. Check them out!

Tori

Healthy kids

2008-04-22T07:18:00.002-06:00

I am blessed to have healthy kids. My kids very rarely get sick and when they do it has always been something "fixable" with antibiotics. I am so thankful that they are healthy, happy, energetic. And I am thankful for the medical advances we have made! How blessed we are!

Tori

Waffle Maker

2008-04-19T07:17:00.001-06:00

I am thankful for my waffle maker. I like making the kids a nice, hot breakfast and they love my waffles. They like to sprinkle chocolate chips on top. I like my with sugar and cinnamon. Now that I have a waffle maker it saves me money too because I used to buy tons of frozen waffles. YAY!
Tori

Graduation

2008-04-13T08:55:00.000-06:00

I am thankful that Seiuli is almost done with the police academy. He's been going since December 4 and he graduates May 2. I am soooo proud of him! He's worked extra hard and right now has one of the highest grades in the class. He excels in anything he tries to do. I love him!

Tori

Red Vines

2008-04-01T07:31:00.002-06:00

Sei will tell you- I'm pretty easy to please. I can be in the worst mood evah but if you bring me a bag of Red Vines it's all good. I love them! I used to love Twizzlers, but I have been converted to Red Vines in the last few years. They rock. And they cheer me up. YAY!

Tori

My new job

2008-04-01T07:19:00.001-06:00

I am thankful that I have a new job! I am now watching a 3 month old everyday and an 8 month old once a week. I like this job because I make extra money- which is now strictly grocery money. Our family is big and we spend a lot of food. This money helps. Having babies at home also breaks up the monotony of my day. I can't really go a lot of places because Liv is in the terrible 2's- BIG TIME. So I was stuck at home. This has helped a lot!!

Tori

Kelsea and Karlea

2008-03-31T09:09:00.002-06:00

I am thankful that we had a great visit with my step-daughters, Kelsea and Karlea. They were able to visit from Canada for 10 days. Those days went so fast! :( When they are here if feels like our family is complete. We will miss them but totally look forward to the 5-6 weeks in the summer!!

Tori

Livie's piggy tails

2008-03-17T11:28:00.001-06:00

I am thankful that Livie's hair has grown enough to put into piggy tails. It used to be long enough but I cut it in December to get rid of the crappy baby hair. So, it's taken a couple of months and now it's back! And it's wavy too!! YAY!

Tori

Kickboxing

2008-03-11T12:56:00.002-06:00

I really enjoy my kickboxing class even though I'm hating it the entire hour. It's more like a boot camp class because we do a range of different things. We run sprints. We jumprope. We do pushup and squats and lunges. Oh yeah- we kick and punch too. I just know that afterwards I'm like "Yes! I DID IT!!"

Tori

Weekends

2008-03-03T08:07:00.002-07:00

I am so thankful for the weekends. That is the time I get to spend with my awesome husband- and I get to hang out with friends occasionally too. Sei is at the academy all week until late in the evening, so I live for weekends!! I'm not sure what his schedule will be like once he graduates. It'll probably consist of a lot of nites and weekends, so I'm relishing the time I have with him now. I love my man!!

Tori

Valentines Day

2008-02-14T12:30:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for another Valentines Day to celebrate with the love of my life!! I am thankful I was able to have lunch with Izzy today at her school. She and her friends were so cute with Taj and Livie on the playground. I'm thankful I got to see Alec before we left and he wasn't embarrassed to give me a kiss in front of his friends!!

Tori

Kids

2008-02-13T07:30:00.001-07:00

I am thankful that I have such great kids. They make good friends and set great examples. I am constantly receiving compliments on my children. It makes me feel like I have acheived something. YAY!
Tori

Spongebob

2008-02-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

This may sound silly but I am thankful for Spongebob. He totally cheers me up when I am bummed. He also entertains Taj and Liv when i need a break. I feel he is the most Christlike cartoon character out there. Forgiving, innocent, humble, full of charity... ;)

Tori

The Hinckley Challenge

2008-02-06T10:40:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for the Hinckley Challenge. This is a challenge to read the Book Of Mormon in 97 days to honor the 97 years that President Hinckley graced this earth with his presence. So far it is day 3 and I am on page 18!! YAY!

Taj's imagination

2008-01-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

Taj's imagination constanly amazes me. He will entertain himself for hours with cars, animal toys, a blanket... It is so neat for me to watch him play. I love this gift he has. It really is a gift because a lot of kids need you to entertain them constantly. Not Taj. He always has stories to share and games to play. It's awesome.

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My kids are healthy

2008-01-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

I have blessed with really healthy kids. They rarely get sick. Livie has had a runny nose the last few days and I thought she was getting sick, but she's fine. The sickest I remember any of the kids getting is Isabel having the stomach virus for a week. It was scary because she was so weak and lethargic, but that was 6 years ago! I am just so thankful they have been healthy their entire lives. (And hopefully I didn't just jinx that by writing this... ;)

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President Hinckley

2008-01-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

June 23, 1910- Jan. 27, 2008

I will post the answers to the meme later, but first I wanted to share the news that President Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, died tonite. He was 97. My sister-in-law in Idaho called about an hour after he died to share the news with us. Although my 1st reaction was shock/sadness because he is not here with us anymore, I am so thrilled he is with his wife again. He loved her so.

He is an amazing man. I met him in 1995 shortly after his call as The Church president. He talked to me and talked to Tristan who was less than a year at the time. His sweet spirit was just so evident. He touched the lives of so many and he will be missed. I love you Pres. Hinckley.

Take me to the Rodeo

2008-01-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

You may not believe this because I have never mentioned it before, but I think rodeos are awesome! I have cousins that have competed and still compete. I had friends growing up that competed also. I still remember going to a rodeo one year at the county fair when I was probably 9 or 10. I decided right then and there that I was going to be a "roper" aka someone who wears Wrangler jeans, cowboy boots, rides in rodeos, etc... Yeah, well that never happened, but I have always enjoyed watching it on tv. Lane Frost (who was killed during a rodeo in 1989) and his best friend, Tuff Heideman, were definitely some of my favorites.
Granted, I have only attended county fair rodeos, but I think it would be awesome to travel to Las Vegas and attend the Professional Bull Riders World Finals (also known as the PBR Finals.) If I received or was able to purchase PBR Tickets I would definitely go! The feel of the pure adrenaline is such a high. Those riders are so talented and brave it just amazes me! It takes such skill and nerves of steel. I would love to see it in person.

My husband

2008-01-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

I know I write about Seiuli like all the time, but I am so thankful for him. He works so hard. He gets up so early to drive to the police academy, but he'll still stay up late with me because he knows I need "my time" with him. I love him. He's awesome. He also studies so hard to do well on his tests and he's done awesome on all of them!!

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Guitar hero

2008-01-17T15:29:00.001-07:00

Seems like a silly thing to be thankful for- but I am. I relieves stress and I have a ton of fun playing with my kids. They can all kick my butt, but it's fun nonetheless. :)
I am also so thankful to have my internet back!! I felt kinda lost since I do so much online from blog ads to paying bills to blogging. :)

Our house

2008-01-02T19:03:00.000-07:00

We will finally be closing on our new house on Friday!! Halle-freakin-lujah! I am so thankful to be buying a NEW home with plenty of room for our ginormous family. We truly are blessed.:)

My new house

2007-12-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

I wish I could post pics! I am so excited for our new house. It's in a beautiful neighborhood with a pool, parks, a walking trail. It's also close to all the kid's schools and our church. It's the perfect size and FINALLY we will live in a home where no one else has lived. I am so thankful for this new home. This new start.

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Safe trip

2007-12-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

I am very thankful that we made the long 1300+ mile trip safely from Utah to Texas!! What a blessing that we had no mechanical problems and Livie actually did really well. This was her 1st long, long trip and she really did surprisingly well. YAY!

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Taj's imagination

2007-12-04T12:55:00.001-07:00

I am thankful that Taj has such a huge imagination and can entertain himself while I'm trying to get the house packed for the big move. He plays with anything!! It really is a blessing.

Part 6

2007-12-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

To catch up on my BIG NEWS click HERE.

Another half hour passed. *Finally* my phone rang and I answered. It was Sei. "Did you get my text?" he asked, kinda somber sounding. "Yeah. I'm sorry Babe. I totally meant to tell you to take your Dockers. I'm sorry!! " Sei said, "Oh, yeah. No, did you get my other text?" "Wait, hold on." I had to figure out how to check messages while on a call and do it with shaking fingers.
And there it was- the best text EV.ER.
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"Why do you always have to be right? I got it!!"

My eye's flood gates opened at this point and for the 1st time that stressful day I cried. I bawled. I felt such a weight lifted. Halle-freakin'-lujah!! They knew my husband was an honest man!!They were pretty hard on him in the interview, but they were never able to get a rise out of him. After he was given the job offer he was told that he'd need to do a few things before being hired including getting a Texas drivers license and emailing the chief a picture of him wearing a suit- which he promptly did. :) Sei saw the chief later in the parking lot, shook his hand and told him thank you again for the opportunity and the chief said, "Well, you know, after interviewing you we all talked amongst ourselves and it really was up to us if we believe you about the drugs or not. And we do. We believe you were being truthful." How wonderful is that???

Sei flew home and we left for Vegas the next day. He was stressed the entire trip because he felt like he was wasting time because we still needed to sell the house. The Friday we got home I posted an ad on craigslist.org. We got a few calls on Saturday. That afternoon we showed the home to an investor and they faxed us an offer 2 hours later. We countered with just a few changes and they never faxed anything back. I was getting stressed. We scheduled to show the home to another couple on Wednesday thinking we weren't in contract. Wed. morning a fax came from the investor with the completed and signed contract!! We still showed the home to the couple, who LOVED it, and left their contact info in case our contract fell thru. So, not only do we have a contract set to close by Dec. 12, but we have a back up too!

Sei starts the police academy on Dec. 3. He left this morning for Texas.:( I have never been away from him this long. I'm worried because it snowed a ton last nite and he's driving... :( While he's gone I get to pack the entire house. We are set to close by the 12th, but we will move out the 15th. My dad and Sei will fly back on Dec. 14, load the truck the 15th and we'll caravan back to Texas.

So, yes, my BIG NEWS is that after 6 years in Utah I am going home. I am so thankful for my husband. We're going to be 2 days drive away from his family and like 10 minutes from mine. I feel almost selfish. I'm stressed because I've never lived near my ex since being divorced. But, I know this is what our family is suppose to be doing, so I know God will make it all work out. Look how much He has already done!! As stressful as this whole process was I KNEW the entire time that we were doing what God wanted us to do and he would make it work out. Sometimes we totally felt like Indiana Jones (1:57):

Sometimes you just have to LEAP!!

Part 5

2007-11-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

To catch up on my BIG NEWS click here.

Then I went to pray. And I prayed so so so hard. I prayed that Heavenly Father would open the hearts and minds of the interviewers so they would know that Seiuli was telling the truth and was the man they were suppose to hire. And right then and there I felt an overwhelming calm feeling. A calm feeling I had heard about from others, but had never felt in such a way myself. I knew he would be interviewed. They would listen to Seiuli. How he did in the interview would change our lives forever- one way or another.

Sei called the man, we'll call him "Mr. T", who had been conducting all the background checks. He told Mr. T that he had no idea why he had failed that portion of the test. He had been completely honest. Mr. T told him that he would send on the results to the chief and to just plan to meet as scheduled unless he called and told him otherwise. Sei thanked him, but he told me that Mr. T's attitude towards him seemed different than it had just that morning when he met with him.

So, now it was more waiting. Sei's interview wasn't scheduled for almost another 3 hours. I talked to him a lot during that time and just prayed that another call never beeped in. About 30 minutes before his interview was the last time I talked to him. My phone didn't ring again and I knew he had been able to attend the interview. But it was scheduled at 1 pm and 2 hours past that time I was getting a little worried because I hadn't heard back. Then I heard my phone beep. It was a text from Sei. "They asked me why I didn't dress up." HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP!! In all our hurrying around getting ready for his trip- booking a rental car, plane tickets, getting copies of transcripts, driving records, finding his divorce decree, our marriage license, etc... we had TOTALLY forgot to pack a suit. It never even entered our minds. I know- we are such dorks!! He had taken clothes appropriate for a polygraph, peeing in a cup (Is there a dress code for that?) and a psychological test, but the whole interview part had just totally slipped our minds. He had on a button up shirt and nice jeans. Losers. When I got that text that moment was the 1st time I really felt nervous. I kept telling myself to remember the calm feeling I had, it would be ok. But in my head I was stressin' it. Big time.

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Should I leave y'all hangin' again???

No? Ok. I'll tell y'all just a little more. I'm just having so much fun!!

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Another half hour passed. *Finally* my phone rang and I answered. It was Sei. "Did you get my text?" he asked, kinda somber sounding. "Yeah. I'm sorry Babe. I totally meant to tell you to take your Dockers. I'm sorry!! " Sei said, "Oh, yeah. No, did you get my other text?" "Wait, hold on." I had to figure out how to check messages while on a call and do it with shaking fingers.

And there it was- the best text EV.ER.

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"Why do you always have to be right? I got it!!"

To be continued...

Part 4

2007-11-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

If you missed the 1st 3 BIG NEWS posts, play catch up HERE.

This part of the hiring process didn't worry him. He'd been thru all this before when he was hired as a deputy. He had never done drugs or had any interest to and hadn't broken any laws. He'd never even drank coffee. Sei had been open and honest the entire process, so why would a little lie detector test scare him?

We listed our home with an investor who specialized in helping people with not-so-great credit qualify. They showed the home a ton. Lots of people applied for financing, but even with the "Bad Credit Ok" thing they still didn't qualify. Ugh. I started to stress a little- but only about selling the house.

Sei flew down to Texas on November 14. We had found a neighborhood online that we liked and a friend/realtor in Texas set up an appointment for Sei to check out homes. We loved the "Montana" floor plan, but for them to build us one from scratch would mean not having a home until April 2008. I love my parents and they love us, but I don't think we'd last living together for 5 months! But... this neighborhood had started building a Montana home already in a cul-de-sac and the buyers had to back out. It would be completed by the end of December or mid- January!! YAY! In this neighborhood Tristan would be able to attend the same middle school as his 8th grade aunt. Not to mention homes are a lot less expensive in Texas. We could get this brand new home that is over 1000 sq. ft bigger than our home we live in now for less than what we bought our home here. And we bought our home in Utah "as is." :)

On Nov. 15 Seiuli went in for the lie detector test. I had no worries because Seiuli is the most honest person I know. (Except for when he lies, but that's only when he's joking. He usually knows when it's appropriate to tell the truth. A lie detector test would be one of those occasions.) He called me a few hours later and said, "They failed me Babe." I thought he was lying because I knew he wouldn't lie... on the test. I said, "What? Whatever Babe. Babe?" He was totally upset and said, "Guess which part they failed me on?" I had no idea. "The drug part. They asked if I had ever used any illegal drugs. They asked it 3 times and he said that I showed some discrepancies when I answered all 3 times." Whaa? I didn't know what to say, so I made some lame attempt at a joke. "Well, now I feel bad for all those guys on Maury that say the lie detector test was wrong. Maybe they *didn't* cheat on their wives..." Retarded, I know. I really had no clue what to say. My legs were shaking. I asked what other questions had been asked. He had passed the question, "Would you lie to get this job?" He said "No" & he was telling the truth. The test giver guy tried to get Sei to admit to doing drugs when he was younger, saying "it would be better to get it off his chest." That pissed me off. That pissed Sei off. Sei was like, "I *wish* I had something to get off my chest because then the results would make sense." The jerk even asked, "How did you pass the polygraph in Utah?" Sei said, "By answering the same way I did today. I told the truth." I was so bugged. Sei was convinced the chief of police wouldn't even want to meet with him. He thought it was over. I did what I do best, I said, "It'll be fine Babe. I know it will. If he meets with you he'll know you're telling the truth." Then I went to pray. And I prayed so so so hard. I prayed that Heavenly Father would open the hearts and minds of the interviewers so they would know that Seiuli was telling the truth and was the man they were suppose to hire. And right then and there I felt an overwhelming calm feeling. A calm feeling I had heard about from others, but had never felt in such a way myself. I knew he would be interviewed. They would listen to Seiuli. How he did in the interview would change our lives forever- one way or another.

To be continued....

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Part 3

2007-11-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

Now he would have to wait for the results of that test and wait to hear from Human Resources regarding what to do next. So, that's what he did. He flew home to me and we waited... Waited for test results and waited for SOMEONE, ANYONE to look at our home.

We received a call from Human Resources letting us know that Sei had scored the highest possible score on the video exam and had the fastest time on the physical test. That's MY MAN!! Woo hoo! They had sent a packet home with him to fill out regarding his background, so we set to work on that. It asked a TON of questions and 1/2 of them Sei couldn't remember the answer to. They wanted every address for like the last 15 years. Sei moved so freakin' much his 1st marriage- we had to find his old addresses on some website online. We got that all filled out and mailed in. Then waited. Again.

Our realtor didn't show our house once during all this time. So, we decided to sell it by owner so that we could lower the price considerably. We marketed it on craigslist.org and got a few calls, had a few showings, but still nada. Ugh.

In the mean time LPD was doing their background investigation. They called me. They called Sei's ex. They called our neighbor- who wasn't even on the contact list!! Everyone gave Sei rave reviews. I, of course, had the man laughing with my witty sense of humor. ;) He asked if I knew of any drug use and I told him, "Seiuli's never even drank alcohol." "Really?" "Really. He's as straight up as they come." "What about a temper? Have you seen him mad?" "The only way I know Sei is even getting upset is his lip curls a little..." "Hahahaha." :D

The LPD called and let Sei know that if everything continues to go as it had been they would need him to fly down to Texas again and complete the hiring process: a lie detector test, an interview with the police chief, a drug test and a psychological test. Sei booked another flight to Texas for Nov. 14. He was feeling pretty confident he'd get the job. This part of the hiring process didn't worry him. He'd been thru all this before when he was hired as a deputy. He had never done drugs or had any interest to and hadn't broken any laws. He'd never even drank coffee. Sei had been open and honest the entire process, so why would a little lie detector test scare him?

To be continued.... In the mean time check out my Vegas pics on my other blog!! Or to catch up on what the heck is going on clickety here. :)

Big News Part 2

2007-11-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

Anyway... I've learned to trust my gut and I try to follow it. Little did I know how much "trusting" and full fledge leaps of faith would be involved in this journey.

We didn't know where to start. Everyone was telling us that Sei needed to find a job 1st and then we should put our house up for sale, etc... Well, being who I am I felt we should do it backwards. I really felt it was going to take a while to sell our home with how the market seemed to be and I also *knew* Sei would have no problem getting a job. Sei was opposite of me. He was totally stressing about the job thing. :)

We put our house up for sale and immediately the neighbors were showing up at our doorstep. "You aren't seriously moving are you???" I dreaded answering the door because I knew we looked crazy. I did find that if I said, "We feel really strongly we should move to Texas" that people tended to back away and accept that answer more so than, "Yeah. We wanna move." We listed with a realtor and waited for a bite. And waited. And waited.... I kept telling Sei that we're gonna look like idiots if we never sell our house after saying how we "felt so strongly." ;)

Sei began applying for jobs online with the school district and different random places. I found a listing for a police department and right when I read it I knew that was the job he would get. It was in a good city- 10 minutes from where we were wanting to move- and the starting pay was $15,000 more than the starting pay for Sei when he was a deputy. I filled out the application. They had 3 testing dates- one at the end of Sept., the end of Oct. and mid-November. We weren't sure if they hired after all 3 test dates or if they took applicants from each date. We felt Sei should fly down asap so we scraped together some cash for him to fly to Texas at the end of September and test for the LPD.

My parents were good enough to put Sei up for a couple of nites and to loan him a car to drive himself from the different test sites. He had a written test to show his smarts. If he passed that he went on the to the physical exam which consisted of a mini-obstacle course that involved running, dragging, shooting, etc... He would have under 4 minutes to complete it. If he passed that he went on to a video exam where he watches situations unfold on the tv and then when prompted responds to a video camera how he would respond in real life. As in, he has to talk to the people he saw on the tv acting out a domestic disturbance. I sooooo would have laughed.... He also would need to take the Spanish test since he is bilingual. Passing the bilingual test would give him 2 extra points on the video exam. After all this he would fly home and wait.

He took the written exam and second-guessed himself to death. He didn't ace it, but he passed. YAY! He went on to the physical exam. Like I said- he had about 4 minutes to complete it. He totally kicked butt and took names! He completed it in 2:13. Then he literally nearly passed out from a heat stroke- but not in front of anyone. My poor Utahn husband... ;) After his body cooled down he went on to the video and bilingual test. Now he would have to wait for the results of that test and wait to hear from Human Resources regarding what to do next. So, that's what he did. He flew home to me and we waited... Waited for test results and waited for SOMEONE, ANYONE to look at our home.

To be continued...

Big News...

2007-11-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'm going to repost this. It's on my other blog, but I feel like it definitely belongs here.

Have you ever just felt something so strongly in your gut that you couldn't deny it- even if it seemed crazy or scary or didn't make sense to you?? I've had that happen to me only a few of times in my life. The 1st time was when I felt "NOW- NOW it is time to file for divorce." I had been waiting for that confirmation and apparently Heavenly Father knew what he was talking about because although I had to deal with a lot of crap for months and didn't understand *why* I couldn't file for divorce in October rather than February- God knew why. Then came moving to Utah. I felt very strongly I should move to Utah and I fought it at 1st. Why would a newly single mom of 3 small children leave the only home she'd ever known to live in Utah? I was just going to hurt people and I absolutely *hate* for people to be hurting because of something I did. But I put my house on the market and said "Here goes nothin'!!" Then I met Sei- who lived in Utah- and it all made sense. :) The most recent time I have had an overwhelming feeling to do something was in September of this year....

There was a time when I really wanted to be in Texas, but I knew the timing was wrong mostly because of my ex and the influence he would have in my children's lives. One time we tried to move back and I was literally nauseous the entire time. It didn't work out and I know it was a blessing. I let the dream of living by family die and *knew* I would be in Utah for life most likely. But then, literally out of no where, I had an overwhelming feeling- not a desire- a true PUSH telling me that we were suppose to go to Texas- NOW. That's crazy. We just bought a house a year ago. We just finished the backyard. Sei has a good job with a great schedule. But the feeling didn't go away. When I told Sei I felt we were suppose to be in Texas. Instead of saying I was crazy, he said, "I've been feeling that way too." What??? Sei and I are both the type when we feel something is right we don't analyze, we just hold hands and JUMP! It was that way when we got married. We knew we were suppose to be together and even though everyone else could see why we shouldn't rush it (We'd known each other for just a couple of months- mostly thru emails.) and didn't understand why we eloped, WE knew why. And it was right, for us. Now if one of our kids does the same thing... I'm gonna freak! Just sayin'...

Anyway... I've learned to trust my gut and I try to follow it. Little did I know how much "trusting" and full fledge leaps of faith would be involved in this journey.
To be continued...

Big news Part I

2007-11-15T23:10:00.001-07:00

I am posting this huge news on my gratitude blog first because I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for loving me so much and blessing my life so much.
There was a time when I really wanted to be in Texas, but I knew the timing was wrong mostly because of my ex and the influence he would have in my children's lives. One time we tried to move back and I was literally nauseous the entire time. It didn't work out and I know it was a blessing. I let the dream of living by family die and *knew* I would be in Utah for life most likely. But then, out of no where, I *knew* we were suppose to go to Texas. It was September of this year when I told Sei I felt we were suppose to move to Texas. Instead of saying I was crazy, he said, "I've been feeling that way too." Sei and I are both the type when we feel something is right we don't analyze, we just hold hands and JUMP! It was that way when we got married. We knew we were suppose to be together and even though everyone else could see why we shouldn't rush it and didn't understand why we eloped, WE knew why. And it was right, for us. Now if one of my kids does the same thing... I'm gonna freak!
Anyway... we trust our gut (me more than Sei...) and we follow it. So... we didn't really have a plan, but we put our house up for sale and crossed our fingers. I found a job opening at a police department close to the town my parents live in. When I read it I felt a strong impression that it was the right job. We filled out other applications, but the entire time I kept telling Sei, "I really think the LPD job is the one you'll get..." They were testing Sept. 26, late Oct. and early Nov. We scraped some money together for a plane ticket and Sei flew down to Texas to take the written, physical and video exam at the earliest date- September.

To be continued...

My gut

2007-11-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

I am thankful that I have learned to trust myself and my gut. I have done things in my life that I know everyone else around me was thinking "Is she crazy??" For one, moving to Utah not knowing why. Then I met Seiuli and it all made sense to me. And recently there have been some huge changes coming our way. We felt we were suppose to do something so we held hands and JUMPED!! We took a leap of faith and it is all working out. More details later...

Alec is 11

2007-11-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

Today is my sweet son's birthday. He's ll. He has truly been a joy from the time he was born. He's sweet and thoughtful and rarely gets in trouble. He loves music-- we actually have the same taste. He got a guitar for his birthday this year and is excited to have his Uncle Walker teach him! Alec, I love you so much. You bring me so much happiness and make me so proud. Happy birthday!!!

And as a special treat on your birthday I dedicate this awesome "11" video to you. :)

Music

2007-11-02T20:57:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for music. I can always find some to suit my mood. When I feel like chillin' I have Sei's piano cd he made me or some Jack Johnson. If I'm stressed I have Metallica and Lit. I have my mp3 player to block out the craziness. I am thankful that I have such a talented husband who can play the piano so beautifully- even though it's annoying when I'm listening to the radio and he plays the piano over my music....

My body

2007-10-29T10:58:00.000-06:00

I complain about my body a lot. I don't like my stomach, or butt, or thighs, or... I may not really like how they look, but I am grateful that I am healthy. I am able to get on the treadmill and run (and whine) if I want to. I can play with my kids. I can sit criss-cross applesauce on the floor with Taj. I've never had any major health problems and I am blessed.

Cell phones

2007-10-24T11:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not the type of person who talks on my cell phone constantly. In fact- I use about 50 of our 2000 minutes a month. But I am thankful for the security it brings me to have my phone with me. I know my kids can get a hold of me if they need me. I know I can let Sei know where I am so that I am safer. I am blessed to live in a day & age when things like phones that you can take along with you in your purse are possible!

My brother

2007-10-19T20:10:00.001-06:00

I am thankful that my brother, Walker, was able to serve a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He served it honorably and returned home with honor. I am proud of him, of his dedication and in awe of his testimony. He is an awesome (gulp) MAN & I am grateful for the awesome example he has set for my children. Love you Woogs.

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The Twilight Series

2007-10-17T20:16:00.000-06:00

I know it sounds silly, but I am thankful for the Twilight series. It's been fun to read and get so deep into this make-believe story. It's nice to leave real life occasionally. And who knew I could totally fall for a werewolf?!

Blog ads

2007-10-14T19:20:00.000-06:00

I never thought I'd be thankful for something so silly sounding. But I really am thankful to have the opportunity to post blog ads on my other blog. So far I've earned over $100 in a week- 2 /12 hours of work. That is so awesome. My goal is to earn 1/2 of Sei's child support so 1/2 of my child support can actually count for something! I've been praying for a way to make some money without it interferring with my family time and one nite it hit me! Stepherz does blog ads and I know her family is her top priority, so.... I emailed her for info and she helped me out so much by telling me the best sites and everything. I hadn't even heard of 3 out of 4 of them! I am so grateful to have blog pals that are willing to help me out. Thank you Steph. You're a good friend. I am thankful for this opportunity and the stress it will help alleviate.

A sense of humor

2007-09-23T17:44:00.000-06:00

I am thankful that I not only have a sense of humor, but that a lot of other people do too. I tend to say stuff that I think is totally funny and I'll get looks from people like "I know you just dihn't say that outloud!!" Uncomfortable. Like once at a soccer game 2 women were talking about how mono was going around the college. One lady said "That's just so hard to keep other kids from catching it at that age because they're all sharing cups and food and..." and I jumped in "Making out with each other." Come on, you know that's what everyone else was thinking!! The lady looked at me and "Well, yes, but I wasn't going to *say* it." Why not? It wasn't rude or offensive. It was true. Lighten up.
Anyway, I'm thankful for people who get my jokes and allow me to be me. Like the people who read my other blog- ya gotta know I'm kidding about 90% of the time. I'm grateful I can be myself.

It's been a while...

2007-09-22T14:35:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I haven't post on this blog in a month! My bad!! (Do people still say that??) Anyway... I have tons to be thankful for. I am just so in love. Suzanne asked me last nite when I think people stop being newlyweds. Well, it's been 6 years and I still feel like we just got married but have known each other forever.
I have great kids. They are just good- even when they do dork stuff like walk a mile to the gas station to buy a bag of chips without telling me. Or stay after school for a dance without letting me know. But if that's as "bad" as it gets then I am so blessed. My kids rock.
I love the weather right now. It's so pretty outside. Not too hot, but not cold.
And I love my flip-flops. All 4000 pair of them.

Happy Anniversary!!

2007-09-14T17:46:00.000-06:00

It's my and Sei's 6th anniversary!!

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Taj is 4!!

2007-09-06T17:46:00.000-06:00

Taj likes to talk. Very loudly.
He likes to play with his Hot Wheels. And has about 200 of them.

He has a great imagination and can entertain himself for hours. He can make a toy out of anything.
He says funny things like "Isabel, I made you some nice poop friends!!" & "Ooh! Moded in your eyeball!!"

Taj can quote a "Countrywide Homes" commercial.
He is stubborn and can throw a mean tantrum.
He's also a huge chicken.

He has a great memory. (Once when we were driving out to Suzanne's house he said, "This is where Asher lives!" Asher is another friend and he did indeed live out that direction. I was surprised because we don't go out to Asher's that often because he lives 45 minutes away. And Taj told Sei that his friends "live in __________, Utah" referring to Suzanne's little boys- and he totally got the town right!) Taj has wild eyes in the morning and very wild hair. I love his hair.
Taj loves Transformers. He knows all the Autobots and the Decepticons. And talks about them non-stop. NON-stop I tell you!

His favorite song is "What I've Done" by Linkin Park. He calls it the "Transformer song."

He likes to eat macaroni and cheese and insists on "Choc nilk" rather than white milk. Taj likes to dress up. He wore his fireman costume to the dentist office and all day yesterday.

He loves to swim. And can do it without floaties now!

He loves his daddy. (He thinks I'm ok too!)

And...he was born 4 years ago today.

Happy Birthday Tajy!! I love you lots and lots!!

1st week of school

2007-08-26T20:42:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful all the kids had a good 1st week of school. Alec and Isabel like their teachers so that's good since they're stuck with them for a year. Tristan did fine finding his 8 different classes in jr. high. He's also doing awesome at tackle football.
I'm thankful I have smart, good kids. I am blessed.

Summer Visit

2007-08-12T23:31:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for the time we had with Kelsea and Karlea this summer. It is always so hard when they leave. I know the kids feel it and K & K show how hard it is by their screaming and crying and hanging on Sei at the airport. I wish they were able to be with us for longer and more often. I know Sei has a hard time when they leave and I suck at making him feel better. :( Kelsea and Karlea are sweet, funny little girls and I am thankful to be their step-mom.

Nicole

2007-08-05T09:39:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of my sister's death. Nicole was just a beautiful person. She was spunky, witty, and oh so loving. I am so thankful I had the opportunity to know her as only a sister can for the 18 1/2 years she was on earth. And I am so thankful that I will see her again. Families are forever.

An incredibly romantic husband

2007-07-27T19:50:00.000-06:00

Who knew grafitti could be romantic?? This is part of the inscription Sei made on our newly poured basketball court. So sweet. I am thankful for every minute I get to spend with him.
I'm thankful he had a great birthday this year. We had a lot of fun. I'm thankful we're all together as a family since Kelsea and Karlea are here for the summer. I love it when we're "complete."

My husband

2007-07-25T17:49:00.000-06:00

Today is Seiuli's 33rd birthday. I brag about Sei all the time so I don't know what I can say that I haven't already. I just know that when I look at him I still get excited. When he kisses me I still get goosebumps. Sometimes when I think about him I want to cry because I can't believe I am this incredibly lucky. He's a much better person, so I don't know what the heck he's doing with me!! Anyway...

The song today is by the New Kids on the Block. Sei and I actually heard it on the radio, dedicated to someone, while we were in a taxi in the Grand Caymans. We started laughing because no one in the US would dedicate a NKOTB song to anyone- except for ME!!! I totally dedicate this song to the love of my life. :) Remember babe "Age is just a number. Don't you stop having fun..."

Here are a few of my favorite things about the birthday boy:

~ His laugh. It's very, I don't know, real(?). I just love it!

~ His voice. Yummy.

~ He always puts others 1st. I've never seen him do a selfish thing. Ever.

~ Even when he's totally bugged with me or I'm being a brat he always says "Love you" before he leaves for work or where ever.

~ He's very honest- when he's being serious. (Otherwise he's full of crap...)

~ He doesn't care that I sing along to every song on the radio.

~ His kissing ability.

~ He's a great dad. And I don't mean that in the generic sense. He really is extraordinary.

~ He's FUN. We have SOOO much fun together.

~ He loves me for some odd reason.

Happy Birthday my beautiful husband!!!

You're my best friend & I love you more than I can say- because I'm lame like that. :)

PS. Do you LOVE my new siggy??? Annie made it for me and I absolutely love it. Thank you again Annie!!

Swim lessons

2007-07-10T09:56:00.001-06:00

I am thankful for swim lessons. Taj loves them and is really becoming a good little, uh, dog paddler. Livie loves the water too. She hates the Mom & Me class (& so do I), but thanks to Annie I have a video that teaches ME how to teach HER to swim. She's loving it and doing really well! I really want my children to know how to swim to help prevent an accident.

Good Mail

2007-07-05T18:26:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for good mail. It has seriously brightened days that may have sucked otherwise. I've been lonely this summer with more than 1/2 of my kiddos gone for 6 weeks. Good mail has cheered me up and kept me busy- because it's fun to mail too!! :)

Email me if you're interested in joining our good mail list!!

Journal Jar

2007-06-28T16:39:00.000-06:00

What is my favorite music group? Why?

This is one of those questions I can't answer. I have so many music groups I like, it's like asking me to pick a favorite movie. I can't. But I'll list a few and why I like them:

No Doubt- I saw them in concert and they rock. I like their very carefree, fun style. Their music is also very clean, unlike Gwen Stefani's solo stuff.

Def Leppard- Hello! It's Def Leppard! They just rock! I also saw them in concert and they only cussed once the entire show. I was bracing myself for more and it didn't happen. They are just fun. I really dig 80's hairband music.

Metallica- I've been a fan of Metallica since jr. high. I introduced my now-hardcore Metallica fan- little brother to them. If I'm stressed I turn their music up loud and just bang my head. ;)

Jack Johnson- Not a "group" per se, but man, his music is so chill. And I was a fan way before he was on mainstream radio.

Avril Lavigne- Again, not a group, but I like her. She's kinda a rocker-poser, but I dig her songs. I especially like her 2nd cd.

The Guess Who- This is an old band from the 60s and 70s. LOVE their music. I have their best of cds, but I used to listen to my mom's record when I was little.

I'll stop there although I could go on and on. I'm into so many types of music. If I pulled out the cds in my car people would be confused... Neil Diamond, Kenny Rogers, Enya, Guns n Roses, Enrique Iglesias...

Seiuli

2007-06-18T15:15:00.001-06:00

I know I brag about my husband all the time, but I am just so grateful for him. We truly are made for each other. He's my best friend. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't totally laugh with/at/by each other. We have so much fun together. We make an awesome team. I can't imagine my life without him and I don't want to.

Time in Texas

2007-06-12T11:31:00.000-06:00

I am so grateful I have been able to spend time with my parents and sisters. I got to meet my nephew, Mason, for the 1st time also. I really miss my family. I wish we lived closer...
I love being with my older kids. They rock. They are so funny and we have a good time together. I wish I had them longer than 4 days. But July 12th will ROCK!! I'm just glad my kids like me. They really talk to me, and hug me out of no where. We are an awesome family.

I am grateful for my kids

2007-06-03T15:32:00.000-06:00

Tristan - Such an awesome helper and totally takes after Sei in so many ways- like yelling out the car window like a dork to the missionaries. "Yo ELDERS!!!"

Alec - Sensitive, cries in movies with me. Such a sweet older brother to Taj. Always gives me hugs and kisses.

Isabel - Jokes around with me. Tries to act older but she can't say her 'Rs' on some words, so it's cute. Makes goals for herself and really works to meet them.

Taj - Makes me laugh when he's not driving me crazy. Says funny things like, "Whaa Freakin' Whaa!!" Loves being a big brother. Awesome imagination!!

Livie - Cuddles with me. Tells me "jokes" and then laughs. Blows me kisses. Comes to me when she's hurt or sad. Total momma's girl.

Kelsea - Laughs at my jokes. Is really good with Livie. Hugs me without being told!!

Karlea - Funny. Smiles a lot. Doesn't mind playing with the younger kids. Big jokester

# 68

2007-05-29T23:26:00.001-06:00

~ We spent the weekend with great friends.

~ Cell phones. My makes me feel a lot more secure.

~ My online friends. I have a lot of fun interacting via blogs, email, visits, "Good Mail", etc...

~ My brother's goofy emails.

~ I go to Texas in a little over a week. (Not looking forward to the flight with Taj and Liv, but the visit should be nice!)

# 67

2007-05-27T17:23:00.000-06:00

~ Vacuum cleaners. They rock.

~ It was 80 degrees today.

~ The kids don't have school tomorrow.

~ Sei is enjoying his marketing job.

~ We got a new bedspread. It is machine washable!!

Journal Jar

2007-05-22T14:29:00.000-06:00

What can I do to strengthen my testimony??

First off, I need to nourish it and I've been neglecting it a ton it seems. I always say my prayers & go to church but I need to get back into the habit of daily scripture study. When I make the effort and do things on my own I feel a peace that I can't explain. I need to study more of what I claim to have a testimony of. I've studied the life of Joseph Smith and I know that he was a true prophet of God. But I didn't know that for myself until I had done the studying myself. So, that's my goal- study the scriptures, read my Ensign (not just the "interesting sounding" stories!!) and grow closer to my Father in Heaven.

#66

2007-05-21T13:01:00.000-06:00

~ We've been able to play outside a lot lately. I love it.

~ We sold NorthStar. This was a hard decision, but we really feel it is for the best. And we got a good deal. Part of the deal is:

~ Sei got a new job (that rocks) offered to him by the program that bought NSYA. He also still owns a percentage so he earns money from that too.

~ We have an awesome parking lot I can longboard in and the kids can ride bikes in.

~ I have a really awesome family.

~ I really am in love with my husband. I miss him during the day. I love being with him. He is my best friend.

Journal Jar

2007-05-16T07:50:00.000-06:00

What kind of mother/wife do I want to be??

Well, everyday I'm wishing I was better. I hope I am able to be a good mom to a teenager in (gulp) a year!! I already worry about Tristan because he always has this "Everyone picks on me because I'm the oldest" attitude. But he's a bully. I have to discipline him when he's doing something wrong. I just hope I can learn the best way that works with his personality. That's important- to realize that all my kids are different.
I want to always take time to have fun. Laundry can wait.
I want to be the "cool" mom.Not the "I'm your friend. Let me buy you beer" mom. The kind of mom that is inviting to all my kid's friends. I want this house to be the house to hang out at so that I know my kids are safe.
I want to laugh with my kids.
I want to make sure they know they can tell me anything. Sometimes they will lie about the dumbest stuff and I have to ask myself "~~Do I feel lucky?~~" "What did I do to make them feel they couldn't tell me that??"
I want to always make sure my kids know I am proud of them.
As a wife, I want to make sure Sei knows that he makes me happy. We may not have a lot of money, or our dream home, but I am so happy. I'm not waiting for my life to start anymore.
I want him to know I am proud of him.
I want to make him laugh everyday.
I want to take care of myself so my husband isn't embarrassed because I'm frumpy. He didn't marry a frumpy person.
I want him to always feel he can talk to me.
I want to be awesome grandparents with my husband!!

#65

2007-05-16T07:48:00.000-06:00

~ Sei was off work this morning, so he got to sleep in.

~ I get to work out at the rec center today because Sei is off this morning.

~ Taj got over his eye/ear infection.

~ Liv got over her stomach bug. Poor baby!!

~ School is almost out, although I hate the 1st 6 weeks of summer since the kids are gone. :(

Journal Jar

2007-05-08T09:30:00.000-06:00

What is the weirdest dream you've had??

I've had so many weird dreams... I do remember a recuring dream when I was younger. I was shrunk way tiny and lived in a coke can. That was weird because I dreamt it over and over and over again.

After Nicholas Berg was beheaded in Iraq I had scary dreams with terrorists. I think the grainy footage they showed on the news warped me. I still get the chills thinking about it.

Another time I dreamt I was walking to the stairs in our old house and a man was crawling up the stairs all weird (Think the girl on "The Grudge") and I tried to run and scream and I couldn't. Why is that??

Oh oh oh... I thought of a weird dream. Sei and I had been watching a show on like TLC or something about a girl that was haunted by bad ghosts and there was this one that was in all black and looked like it had a hood over it's head. Sei liked to tease me with his black hoodie forever. Anyway, I fell asleep while Sei was watching it and that nite I saw that ghost trying to get Isabel. I woke Sei up because I trying to scream!! That was freaky. I always know when I've watched something I shouldn't have because I have weird, warped dreams. Like after "White Noise" and "The Skeleton Key"- weird dreams...

# 64

2007-05-04T08:23:00.000-06:00

It's been a while...

I am grateful that Liv is sleeping better. She had a few rough weeks.

I am grateful that Taj will sleep on his "bed" on the floor of our room for hours at a time. He's not constantly lying in between us!

I am grateful my sister and her family are coming to visit in a few weeks.

I am grateful my brother-in-law will be here next week.

I am grateful I have made some friends online and will get to meet one tomorrow!

I am grateful for online billing.

I am eternally grateful for my husband. I love him so much.

I am grateful that iI have good kids. They can be punks sometimes, but they really are good kids.

Journal Jar

2007-04-24T11:55:00.000-06:00

What challenge or trial do I really want to overcome?

How am I going to do it?

I think my biggest trial or challenge is my bad feelings towards my ex. I mean, I don't dwell on these feelings, but sometimes things will happen that trigger all these negative feelings that I have tried to push down inside. He was such a retarded person- father especially. He was willing to totally give the kids up for this woman he is with now. He said to me regarding the kids: "I know I should care, but I don't." and "If you want me to sign away my rights, I will. But you aren't getting my child support." Um, ok?! I can't forgive him for being a crap dad. For hurting my kids. I can't. I've tried and everytime I think I'm "ok" with everything, something new happens. I can't even refer to him as their "dad." That word will never come out of my mouth when I am talking about him. I feel like I'm disrespecting Sei if I refer to my ex as "Dad." Sei has raised these kids. HE has been the Dad. I don't know. And I don't really know how to push past these feelings and really forgive. I've forgiven Sei's ex and she treated Sei and I both like shi-te. But I do forgive her. I still make "ex-wife jokes" but for the most part- she doesn't bother me. My ex just continually does new retarded things to add to the old retarded things. I pray for strength, patience, the ability to forgive... But it is my challenge. And I deal with it everyday.

Journal Jar

2007-04-15T16:59:00.000-06:00

Am I a good friend to other people?
If so, how? If not, what can I do to improve this?

I think I'm a good friend. I mean, I am loyal and I try my best to be a good friend. If you have email, then I am a great friend! I'm not a phone person, so I don't call a lot. If people are down or are going thru something I try to be supportive. I send a card or call. I've made the effort to keep in touch with my closest friends that I have moved away from or they've moved away from me. I don't feel like they have made quite the same effort...

Busy Izzy is 8

2007-04-09T17:51:00.000-06:00

Isabel is 8 today!!!

Happy Birthday Izzy!!!

I is for Inquisitive. You've always asked questions.

S is for Strong. I envy your muscles.

A is for Athletic. You could take your pick of sports to kick butt in.

B is for Baptism!! You will be baptized in a couple of weeks!

E is for EXACTLY how I envisioned my daughter. (Except you're even more beautiful!!)

L is for fast Learner. You've always loved learning.

Have an awesome day my sweet Izzy!

You Rock!!

Love you.

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#63

2007-04-09T13:40:00.000-06:00

~ Liv is starting to sign!!
~ Easter was nice. Our whole family was together.
~ The kids like riding the school bus.
~ Everyone is healthy.
~ I love my husband.

He's 12?!?!?!

2007-04-06T17:51:00.000-06:00

TRISTAN IS 12 TODAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T-dog!!!

T is for tiny when you were born (6 lb 3 oz.)

R is for runner- you rarely walk

I is for intelligent (No matter what you think!!)

S is for Super sibling (except when you're beating someone up...)

T is for Tough (Your nose was broken but it was the other kid cryin'!)

A is for total Athlete

N is for naughty and nice

Have a wonderful day!

I love you!!

**Thank you for not being too old to give me a hug and a kiss every day before and after school- even when your friends are watching.

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#62

2007-04-03T10:56:00.000-06:00

~Kelsea and Karlea are here!
~Sei has the day off!
~My zits have cleared up.
~It's turning into "Flip Flop Weather."
~Isabel gets baptized in a few weeks.
~Tristan receives the Priesthood in a few weeks.

Journal Jar

2007-04-01T17:51:00.000-06:00

Describe your Favorite Summer Activities.

During the warm weather I really enjoy being outside- even if it's way hot. I love playing at the park with my kids, etc...

But our summers usually consist of kids going to Texas for 6 weeks, kids coming to Utah for 4 weeks, me being lonely for 6 weeks, me traveling to Texas for 2 weeks... It's not a fun time. I like it when everyone is home- usually mid July- and just getting to chill. That's the best.

I like getting snow cones and I like running outside.

Journal Jar

2007-03-26T09:12:00.000-06:00

What was my favorite birthday?
What was the best birthday gift I ever got?

I can't think of one birthday in particular that I would say was my "favorite" but I do remember my 5th birthday very clearly. I had it at McDonalds. I received a new, blue Schwin bicycle. Nicole was 3 at the time and crying because she wanted to sit on my bike. You can see her red, puffy eyes in the pictures of me standing by my bike with her sitting on it. I am so sweet. I also got my 2 all-time favorite kid books:

I also got 2 records:

A Strawberry Shortcake exercise record that I LOVED and actually "worked out" too. Especially to "Journey to the Bottom of the Sea..."

The other record was a PacMan record. I think it was a story album. It had some jammin' songs on it...

#60

2007-03-23T10:08:00.000-06:00

~ I found 3 outdoor tracks near my home I really like.

~ I figured out I actually enjoy running with the jogging stroller.

~ My mom and Ali got home safely.

~ Isabel has her 1st meet of the season tomorrow. YAY!

~ I have an awesome husband who I love so so much! And he got back safely from his business trip.

Journal Jar

2007-03-18T20:40:00.000-06:00

What talents do I have that I want to strengthen??

I have a hard time just coming up with talents to list. I don't have any "talent show" talents. Nothing that stands out... I am organized (in my own way) and would like to get more organized or find a less crazy system that works for me. I'm creative and would like to channel that a little more. I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I do want to use my creativity more.

#57 and Journal Jar

2007-03-12T10:55:00.000-06:00

I've been slacking, so before I do Journal Jar I'll do my list.
I am grateful for:
~ Finishing the 5k and doing ok.
~ Speaking well on Sunday.
~ My gross cough is finally going away.
~ My mom and Ali come on Thursday.
~ Our taxes are done. Just waiting for the money.
~ My husband works so hard.
~ My nephew is 4 today!!!

JOURNAL JAR

What is your full name?
Why were you named that?
If you could change it to anything, what would it be?

My full name is Anna Victoria. I love my name. Anna is from my great-grandma Anna Isabel. I don't know where Victoria is from. The only thing I don't like about my name is that I have always gone by Tori- which I love- but it's not only a nickname, it's a nickname within a middle name. It's just kinda a pain when it comes to signing credit cards, cashing checks, registering at school, moving into a new church ward- the roster says ANNA. People will make checks out to "Tori" and then I don't have any ID that says "Tori." Stuff like that. Minor, but kindof a pain. I don't remember ever wanting another name, although I remember liking the names Taylor and Peyton.

#56

2007-03-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

~ I ran the 5k trail today and actually finished it!!

~ Pillsbury cookie dough... yum

~ The internet. It makes getting info on ANYTHING so easy.

~ My husband. I love that man.

~ My mom and little sister come up next week. :)

Journal Jar Sunday #2

2007-03-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

**(I changed journal jar to Sunday, rather than Monday...)

Who was my favorite high school teacher??

I think I can realistically say I did not have a favorite high school teacher. I didn't like high school at all and I can't remember being excited about any class or teacher. If I HAD to choose one, I would say Coach Lawson. She was my basketball coach in 8th, 9th and 10th grade. She was so boyish- complete with mullet and guy clothes, but she was cool. She loved basketball and she loved coaching. She also cracked me up! Her sense of humor was much like mine and we got along great. I remember I beat her playing 21 and she made me run laps. She didn't like to lose. Neither do I. When I think of basketball, besides my dad, I think of Coach "Awesome" Lawson. She always believed in me.